You know what I want most?

Well you could want to know or not, im going to write it.

I want to be a fashion blogger.
Omg so bad.

I want to do as Cara van Brocklin does and not only style myself fashionably and gorgeous, but also my husband and children!

I want to emulate Emily Schuman, and basically live a life full of beautiful pictures, delicate jewelry, adorable cats, and incredible fashion. I want to take the time to decorate my house with taste and bring elegance and style to most aspects of my life and be able to show them to readers.


I want to put together outfits and spend an hour getting every aspect of my makeup perttyfied.
I want to leave the house feeling absolutely perfect.
Then go to some beautiful locale that I picked out before hand and take tons of cute pictures of said outfit and hair and makeup.
Then post them, on a minimalist, all white blog and feel incredibly chic and beautiful and trendy.

But I wont.
1.Because im overweight and the thought of pictures of my entire body online scares me nearly to death.

2.  This isnt exactly its own reason but I refuse to buy myself much clothing because I feel like it would be a waste. This is not my forever body and I dont like trying things on much anyway.

Also, and quite shamefully, not very many trendy stores sell clothes I fit into comfortably anymore.
So, this blogpost took a turn for the sad. But I got it out there. I want to be a fashion blog! So bad :(

But then I see girls like Gabi Fresh kicking ass and taking names and looking fun and glowy and beautiful and just feel "why not me?!" Maybe she's just more confidant than I? Maybe she just truly adores her body and I dont? Or, maybe there will always be an excuse.