Your Humble Narrator
Hi. Im Tiana. I am bits and pieces of people I once emulated and tried to be like, now all mixed up by habit and diluted by time, and trying to find myself.
I have always been intelligent and unrightly sarcastic and pessimistic (myself and, what would seem, the entirety of my generation).
Currently, I am living in a beautiful Rocky Mountain town, I have 2 children and a loving husband. Its hard for me to get up in the morning (its hard to get to sleep at a decent time), i'm currently trying to schedule life so that I can be more organized (I havent followed a half organized and written out day, once). Im trying desperately to be more of an optimist, less judgmental more open and loving. I've also recently decided to pursue a Paleolithic eating style, and contribute less to factory farming and GMO consumption. Im trying to be more politically-aware. Im trying to read more. I recently cut off all TV from my children, which makes the days kind of quiet and sort of sad. Especially right after my husband leave for another 3 weeks at work. Getting used to it. Lifes hard right now. Im trying to change.
THE LIFE STORY:
I have never succeeded in anything. I have never really achieved anything. Oh writing this all down is making me feel so awful :( I swear this isn't a self-pity blog. Im setting up the background for you to understand all the changes im trying to make.
I wont deny that I've always thought I was pretty but I was once pretty with a pretty nice body and came from an f'ed up family so I didn't know how to handle feeling loved and ended up pregnant.
Anyway, I ran away from a toxic home when I was 15, with my son. Lived with a few friends until I was old enough to get a job, (courtesy clerk, and I was great, thank you very much) I met my husband here, and we got a place together. I pushed my husband into getting a job that pays great but means hes away for a month at a time, and he got it, and I've been a stay at home mom ever since. (And yes, I realize how terrible, and lazy, and opportunist that sounds.)
In the summer of 2011 I decided to get my act together and finally go for my dreams of being a lawyer. I had been lounging about , didn't have to have a job, didn't have to go to school, it was basically my son and I alone all day long. So I signed up for community college classes while also doing highschool online and I felt more motivated than ever. Until I found out, less than two weeks into CC, I was pregnant. Please note, this was DESPITE responsible sex. Obviously I was devastated and I let this setback push me into dropping out of school and into a funk. Which I find funny since the time when I was pregnant was the happiest I have ever been (through morning sickness and hell).
Here we are, a year into the life of my second child, and in a town where we had decided to settle down and raise our kids and I've decided I can't settle. So I am currently studying to get my GED, and we will, in February of 2014, move to Virginia so that I can claw and scratch and fight my way into UVA, however long it takes and whatever work it takes. Surely you can see why I had to mention my long list of accomplishments and honours.